“American Horror Story” is finally back, and this is the long-teased “Murder House” and “Coven” crossover season! But before we can get to any of that, we have to get to the end of the world.
Promotional material for the eighth season of “American Horror Story.”
Photo courtesy of NME.com
The season premiere, “The End” wastes no time getting to the apocalypse. After getting her hair cut by Gallant (“AHS” staple Evan Peters), heiress and wannabe Instagram influencer Coco (Leslie Grossman for last season’s “Cult”) and her assistant Mallory (Billie Lourd, also from “Cult”) find out that nuclear war has broken out and Los Angeles in next. Her super-rich father has spots reserved in a fallout shelter and a private jet waiting. Coco calls her boyfriend Brock (Billy Eichner from both “Cult” and “Billy on the Street”), but he doesn’t make it to the airport in time. Instead, Gallant and his Beverly Hills grandmother (Joan Collins).
The whole opening sequence really underscores the terror and anxiety that the end of the world would likely bring. As they’re getting on the private jet, Coco’s security guard shoots down the desperate people trying to get on the plane, which was scary and all too realistic.
As our new core four are safely in the air, Mallory realizes their plane has no pilot (is that a thing with the 1%?) and they watch the bombs go off.
(FROM LEFT TO RIGHT_) Leslie Grossman, Evan Peters and Joan Collins try to ride out the nuclear bombs on a private jet.
Photo courtesy of huffingtonpost.com
This brings up to the opening credits. After Season 6, “Roanoke” skipped the credits all together and last year’s “Cult” went with the politically revamped theme song, it was nice to get back to the classic “AHS” credits sequence, especially considering this sequence has so many direct references to the openings of “Murder House” and “Coven.” The shot of the creature in the woods is a play on the witch in “Coven’s” theme and the old photos of babies are right out of “Murder House.”
Timothy’s (“AHS” newcomer Kyle Allen) college acceptance celebration is cut short by the news of the bombs. As his family prepares for the end, people from “The Cooperative” come and take him to a holding cell because of his genetic makeup, courtesy of 23andMe.
This has me rethinking everything I thought I knew about the Ancestry sites. I can totally see them performing their own tests, but if it gets me saved from the nuclear war, maybe I’m not against it.
At the holding cell, he meets Emily (Ash Santos, also in her first “AHS” role) and they wait out the bombs. Once it’s safe to leave, the pair, adorned in hazmat suits, enter the grey post-apocalyptic wasteland and are taken to Outpost 3.
First impressions matter, and their first glimpse of their new home is two people being executed. Once they get inside, they meet the woman in charge, Ms. Wilhemina Venable (“AHS” queen Sarah Paulson). With a pimp cane in one hand and a candle in the other, Paulson finally gets to play an antagonist, and she crushes it. She’s super menacing but still believable.
After seven seasons of “AHS” Sarah Paulson finally gets to play an antagonist in Ms. Venable.
Photo courtey of thehollywoodreporter.com
She explains the rules of their new home. They can never leave the building nor can there be any “unauthorized copulation.” Also, there’s a clear purple vs grey class system, with the purples being the wealthy and the grey working as the help.
At dinner, we meet the residents of Outpost 3. Coco and her crew made it, with Mallory working as a grey. Discount Oprah Dinah Stevens (Adina Porter, who I’ve never liked in any of her roles on “AHS.” Her voice just annoys me), is there with her son and his boyfriend, Stu. Miss Mead (horror icon Kathy Bates) works as Ms. Venable’s right hand and is, as always, super eerie. There are few people who can play evil as well as Kathy Bates can.
Kathy Bates costars as Ms. Mead in “American Horror Story: Apocalypse.”
Photo courtesy of mashable.com
We find out that all the other Outposts have been overtaken, so they are the only hope of humanity’s survival. Ms. Mead performs a rigged radioactivity test to keep everyone on their toes, and takes Gallant and Stu in for decontamination. They’re stripped naked and brutally scrubbed with push brooms. Mead decides Gallant is good to go, but mercilessly shoots Stu in the head.
It turns out Mead is a purple is disguise, working undercover for Ms. Venable. I was sensing some serious lesbian undertones between them during their interaction in Venable’s bedroom. I would 100% not be against that! A guy can dream.
Rather than eating the nutrition cube they’ve been fed every night, the occupants of Outpost finally get some real food, a nice stew. After finding some all-too-human bones in it, they realize in the campiest way possible “The stew is Stu.” While that line didn’t work for me, Coco yelling at Mallory to come stick her fingers down her throat, and Mallory obediently following, was probably the funniest moment of the night.
Just as they start to get hopeful that help is coming, a hard cut to 18 Months Later, with Coco’s new ridiculous hairstyle, also made me laugh. I really didn’t expect to time jump a year and a half in the first episode.
Timothy and Emily’s budding romance is cute, but definitely won’t last long. I’m just hoping they don’t devote too much screen-time to them, because I want my witches and ghosts. \
Tensions flare when they’re told that, in an attempt to save food, they all have to cut back to only half a nutrition cube per day. Just as Gallant is about to lose his cool, there’s a security breach.
We cut to outside the Outpost, where a horse-drawn carriage emerges from the grey fog. They’re not just regular horses, though; they’re wearing gas masks and seem to be infected with some kind of radioactivity. The image of them slowly coming from the grey was weirdly sinister and I was all for it.
Langdon’s horses wear gas masks to travel through the post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Photo courtesy of tvtropes.com
Who gets out of the carriage but Michael Langdon (Cody Fern, from this year’s “American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace”). Serving up Lucius Malfoy realness with his long, luscious blonde locks and oddly soothing yet unsettling voice, it looks like we’ve met our other antagonist this season.
If that name sounds familiar, consider yourself a hardcore “AHS” fan, because you’re right! He’s the baby from the end of “Murder House” who was fathered by the ghost Tate Langdon, which in “AHS” lore makes him the second coming of the Antichrist. The crossover has officially begun!
The first episode of “Apocalypse” concludes with Langdon telling Ms. Venable that he has a safe haven for them, if he deems them worthy. The Biblical parallels aren’t exactly hard to see, but I think that placing this season within Biblical context could have potential to be really interesting.
What did you think of the season premiere of “American Horror Story: Apocalypse?” Let me know in the comments below! Make sure to check in every Wednesday night for the weekly recaps of “AHS.”